im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.