Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.