a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
