Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
