hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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