i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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