i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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