Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
