whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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