either way he was missing a nipple.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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