Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window