so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another