Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
