I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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