he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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