this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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