I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
