Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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