i permit you to call me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
