Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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