I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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