love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
