Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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