I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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