A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
handjob tips. give me some.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
