I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
