he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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