I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
accomplished twins. life is a go
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
