Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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