i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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