I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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