You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
