thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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