I bet he comes in French.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
