Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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