i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
