The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize