White coat. Heels.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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