i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize