ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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