I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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