I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize