I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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