Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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