So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
