I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize