I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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