It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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