I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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