Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
