Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
