I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
