Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
